The silver door

Not knowing what I was looking for,
I found myself standing before a silver door.
A shiny splendor it was to look, at first
but little did I realize: My heart was dying of thirst.

Like a rock standing there i stare at the knob
trying to decipher why i’m here and whats my job.
As the minutes get old and the seconds tick
My limbs go limp and i feel like a stick.

I hear the celebration on the other side of the door,
completely within my reach but scared to take control.
Lifting my hand towards the knob..i close my eyes
But damn! i cant do this!
i just don’t feel nice.

So on..so forth my predicament desists to leave
like it has a mind of its own. Oh boy! how to heal?!
my frustration never had touched such limits as now
But I see a new me, I’m grateful, i don’t know how.

An experience i never dared to have before,
is now before me and is making me sore!
too scared to take stride and too proud to stand aside
Ii stand there with myself and no one beside.

Up down left and right,
My head turns to find someone in sight,
Then a sudden voice from within shook me in fright
While it said, “trust your insight”.

Unsure I was of whose voice it was or where it came from
But sure I was of its meaning, truth and intention
“fear not!” the voice said,
“for life can be more than just money and bread”.

So I close my eyes and listen to myself
to that deep subtle part of me which is mystery itself
its the part of me that I always denied
its the part of me that never lied.

My mind- now free from every kind of sob
Lets my hand reach out to the door’s knob
What felt like an eternity of decisive inability
Has now brought me to this moment of accepted uncertainty.

Thus as I finally push open the Silver Door
Blinding lights hit me and i can see no more
But a smile crosses my face, for sooner or later this was where i had to be
And from now on, I’m always here; for this is reality, this is the real me.

Sooner or later i knew i had to come here
But everything has its place in the world’s demeanor
What seemed like ‘celebration’ from the other side of the door
I now call ‘The freedom of knowing your core’.

“So what’s next?” they seem to say after all this talk
I say “I was born moments ago, do u expect me to walk???”